i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
