please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
