tell your sister to shave her snatch
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
