hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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