remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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