we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
This girl is more easily done than said...
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
