Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Dicks are not precious.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
