look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
