I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
