i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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