i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
