There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
