The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
