are you so shy because you have an std?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
