VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
