i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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