Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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