I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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