i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
There's even glitter on my cock...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
