Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
