Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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