she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize