Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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