Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
