oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
