i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
