My liver just broke up with me...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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