Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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