So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
