If that was your dad, he is hot
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Did I show you my penis last night?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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