I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
