Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
