Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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