i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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