do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
