I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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