Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
