..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Sorry about my life...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
