seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
