we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
