I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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