We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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