Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
