with your own penis?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
