butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
