Heybabeimwearingurpanties
grandma shit on top of the toilet
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
