she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
