i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
