dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
