I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
