but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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