I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Randomize
