I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I party with great urgency now.
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